How Gaslighting worksīeginning with a person first praising his/her companion and the shift from praising to criticising is gaslighting.
Since the 1960’s the term has been used to refer to people who make covert attempts to manipulate people, particularly in abusive relationships. 3 Where, a husband manipulates his wife into thinking she has a mental illness by dimming their gas-fuelled lights and telling her she is hallucinating. The term ‘Gaslight’ came from the 1938, British stage play, by Patrick Hamilton. It is like someone acting as a janitor and constantly trying to change your perception and memory while disconnecting you from reality. The victim often ends up being confused, with questioned self-worth, low self-esteem. Gaslighting is an emotional and psychological abuse done to anyone which makes them go through various kinds of unusual feelings at the same time. To gaslight is to manipulate another person into doubting his or her perceptions, experiences, or understanding of events. I walked away from the relationship, but the years of gaslighting me into believing that I was unattractive left my confidence at an all-time low. He didn’t like what I looked like or who I was he liked what I had to offer.
It wasn’t until a mutual friend asked what he liked about me and he was completely silent that I realised it had all been a facade. My clothes weren’t the right style I should wax every part of my body, I should lose a few pounds… the list was endless. As time went on, the flattery faded, and it was replaced with small criticisms. When we first started dating, my boyfriend made me feel like I was a princess and complimented every aspect of my looks, down to my fingers and toes. “He made little digs at my appearance all the time, and he shattered my once high self-confidence.” Trying to collect the perspective of the gaslighter and victim both this short story may help you recognise what gaslighting is.
Let’s start with reading a short fairytale love story which gives us a perfect example of what gaslighting is.
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